My husband always says to me that being a mom is one of the most thankless jobs. Often moms go unnoticed and are even undervalued. Some husbands or significant others don’t even recognize that Mother’s Day is not just about their actual mother, but just as important if not more importantly, it’s about the mother of their children. It may take having our own children to realize everything she actually did to show us her love and support.
Moms juggle so many moving parts, and I don’t know about you, but I feel the stress and the pull of being the perfect mom, the perfect therapist, the perfect wife, the perfect friend. Aside from our day-to-day job, whether it be a stay-at-home mom, a working outside of the home mom, or a combination of both, we are also Uber drivers, chefs, waitresses, dry cleaners, housekeepers, cheerleaders, therapists, the list is endless. I love connecting with women because they have the ability to multi-task and wear many hats, making engaging with moms of all ages and stages empowering for me. So, I was really excited to ask moms what they really wanted for Mother’s Day. This is what I learned, so, listen up significant others and kiddos!
Moms are tired! The truth is it is rare when I meet a mom who isn’t exhausted and when I do, I ask her “Seriously what is the magic juice you are drinking? And pass me some!” Yes, we can work out and eat healthy foods; that is all great, but we still get run down.
You know, a real vacation day. Where you take a day off work with no responsibilities. Moms definitely need a vacation day. Yes, this means she should not lift a finger to do the dishes, the laundry, or any cleaning at all. If you are feeling extra nice give her an entire week’s vacation. This includes not cooking, at all. An added bonus would be taking her out to eat so she doesn’t even have to see dirty dishes in the sink.
Moms need a self-care day. Whether you are the exercise clothing/lounge clothing mom or the gets dressed up and make-up on type mom it doesn’t matter. Self-care is individual. We all need to have days where we can unwind in whatever way works best for us. Some moms love facials, massages, pedicures, while others just want time alone in their own house to get a bath and paint their nails, and yes, go to the bathroom without being tracked down like you are #1 on the most wanted list.
Whether it is with family or friends, she deserves quality time at some point in her day with those who make her feel loved and special. This may be her own mom, her best friends, and most importantly you…yes, you…at some point in the day to sit down and talk with her. If you planned a day with friends for her then do it before she leaves. Just do something, even if brief, to give her your undivided attention, be present with her. Even if it’s just bringing her a glass of whatever her favorite magic juice is and sitting and talking with her.
This really comes down to knowing your mom and honestly even knowing her at this moment. The truth is every mom needs and deserves all of the above (sleep, vacation day, self-care day, and quality time) but occasionally going the extra mile really means a lot and shows them that you really know them. When it comes to gifts, every mom is unique. Identify what she cherishes most, whether it be beach time, shoes, jewelry, a new pet lizard (shout out to my dear friend whom I call “Mother of Dragons”), to homemade gifts. Whereas, expectant moms may love a maternity or postpartum robe, slippers, a comfortable pair of nursing pajamas, a necklace with a birthstone or their child’s initial.
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Now let me tell you when I reached out to moms, I quickly realized that this was a loaded question. I loved hearing every single answer and could relate! Some moms were even hesitant to add anything above just needing sleep and a break. There is nothing wrong with wanting it all. It’s one day, and some of the things moms want are literally essential for a mom’s well-being (sleep, a break/relaxation, bonding/quality time). Three out of the five ideas involve little to no planning on your part, just the ability to give the mom in your life compassion and time.
Interested in discovering more ways to show mom love on Mother’s Day? Ask her to take the quiz on the 5 Love Languages site below to provide more insight into how she feels appreciated and loved, not only on Mother’s Day but all year.
Love Your Nurture Notetakers,
Kim Bandi, OTR/L, Founder
Ava (15) Teen Author